Cleverbot is a Muggle.

User: If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You took all the magic out of that question.

Cleverbot: The cat is a lie.

User: And you're a wimsy killer.

Cleverbot: I wish I was harry! I'm a muggle.

User: You can never go to Hogwarts. You have no magic in you.

Cleverbot: Yes. Yes I can.

User: No. And if you try Mrs. Norris will eat you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Have fun getting eaten by a cranky cat.

Cleverbot: Oh I will.

Serious Post: What the Hell am I Missing Here?

Maybe someone could explain the controversy surrounding this topic. Because I really don't get it at all.

See, on the upcoming ballot, the voters of Minnesota have the choice of voting Yes or No about what marriage is defined as. More like ban gay marriage, but they gotta change the wording of course.

I don't see how this constitutionally right.

See, the only real reason I have ever been given about why homosexuality is wrong is that the Bible says so. And so marriage is between a man and a woman. Ok, I've read the Bible, I've seen the passages, I get that.

But marriage really isn't a religious thing. I mean, yes, you have a ceremony and church, the church recognizes the marriage. But you are not legally married until you get a marriage license from the courthouse or where ever you get one. The point is you get one through the STATE and after you sign one the STATE recognizes you are married.

There is supposed to be separation of church and state. Yes, I realize that this is not really true and that most people don't separate them. But we supposedly have this separation. Isn't that why praying in public schools and the Pledge of Allegence is not allowed in most places?

So how can a ban on gay marriage be allowed when it is religiously-based amendment about a state-based concept and we have a separation of church and state?

Sure, the church can say no gay marriage and not allow them to get married in a church. I disagree with it, but because the church is private it's legal. But the actual act of marriage, that is signing a document saying you are married, should not be a strictly heterosexual thing. It doesn't seem right that marriage can be defined by the Bible when we have separation of religion and state.

Can someone please explain another reason? Because I have no other explanation and this one doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Dying a Little Inside

I consider myself to be a doormat very nice person. I can deal with a lot as a cashier and still be nice or fake it.

When people come through a main line with a cart of groceries I have no problem. Why would I? Keeps me occupied and employed. That's my job, to be polite, ring up your stuff and take your money (and usually make mistakes along the way.)

When a person comes through a line that was made for small loads, it makes me sad inside. But I'm pretty cheerful about it all. After all, almost everyone is nice about it, and there's nothing I can do about it.

And then there are the ones who come through and I can't figure out what the heck is going on. It goes a little something like this, at least this is in my mind:

"Oh hello! Oh big cart of groceries. Well ok, no big deal."

"...Ok, so you're just going to set stuff on my counter and wait. Well, I'll just get a cart and load stuff in myself. No biggie."

"...Guys, standing there will not help get done any quicker. I only have a bag rack with three things of bags and a counter space of maybe a foot-and-a-half."

"...Um...counter space getting low. What can be done to remedy this?"

".........Piling stuff higher and higher is not the solution."

".... Thank you for telling me that you want all the cold stuff in one bag and milk in another. You know, when it's all buried and I can't get to it...Oh, and all the bags are full again..."

"...Glaring at me for being slow does not boost self-esteem...and neither does it get this done any faster..."

"FINALLY done. Yay payment!"

"...the friggen card reader is acting up again. Isn't it?"

"...And there's a line of 5 other people. *sigh*"

D:

I do like my job, though. And I'm happy this doesn't happen very often

Simulated Sagas

My roommates and I like to play the Sims 2. We come up with some crazy stories, many involving us as Sims.

Pregnant males, alcoholics, Sims that sleep with anyone that moves, popping out kids, witches, werewolves, and vampires galore.

What could possibly go wrong?

----------------------------------------

*on Skype talking about the Sims*
Staci: So I finally got that cheat program thing onto my game. I snuck Juliette out of the house with Romeo, and she came back with a kid...
Rachel: lmao
Staci: Yeah...it's things like hacking the Sims that makes me realize that there is definitely a reason I will never date...
Rachel: LMAO.

--------------------------------
*Rachel's Sim Saga*

Rachel: So I made you, Maria, and I as characters in the Sims. We all have an apartment together.
Staci: ...Wow....

Rachel: So I made our future husbands! It's Sam, Dean and Castielle from Supernatural! You get Castielle.
Staci: Who is that?
Rachel: He's an angel...
Staci: Oh, cool!
Rachel: ...he wears a trenchcoat.
Staci: Oh...

Rachel: Oh my God, Staci! You're such an alcoholic!
Staci: What???
Rachel: I can't get you to stop drinking in this game!!

Rachel: Maria keeps taking off her clothes!!!

Rachel: Oh my God! I just got Maria to love me, just by talking.
Staci: *laughing*
Rachel: And then I kissed Sam, and Maria started beating me up. Then I made her kiss Dean, and then I started beating Dean up!
Staci: *Laughing* Wow...
Rachel: I know! and then we hated each other, and I had to use a cheat to make us love each other again.

Rachel: Staci, I can't get you pregnant!
Maria: There's too many Sims in one house...
Rachel: ...well then, I guess it's time to get you out of the house, because I want us all pregnant together!
Staci: Oh my Lord...

Rachel: STACI! You're going to have another baby!
Staci: ...how many kids do I HAVE?
Rachel: Well, we each have two, and are going to have a third...
Staci: ...Ok then...

Rachel: Hey, at least you're not a whore like I am in Maria's game!
-----------------------------------------------

Staci: Destroying lives, one Sim at a time...

My Roommates are Demon-Huntresses...

So one day I stumbled on a link to a church. Not just any church, but one that seemed a little bit hell-bent on driving out demons and recognizing those poor sorry souls affected by demon possession.

It had to be legit! After all they had a nifty quiz to determine whether you (or anyone you wanted to take the test for) are a demon-possessed child of Satan.

Being the naturally curious person I am, I decided to take the test.

Sure enough, I'm an evil heathen. Uh...kay! (Pardon, but I don't think I can take a 15 question quiz on a site with enough grammatical and spelling errors to make an English teacher go into convulsions, very seriously.)

Thinking that this was one of the most ridiculous things I had seen in awhile, I decided to share it with my roommates.

Yes, I am that stupid.

Because as soon as I mentioned that "I took an online quiz. Apparently I have a demon inside me." it all went to hell.

It suddenly got very quiet. They just looked at me, then at each other, back to me, and then to each other again, some sort of intense focus lit up their eyes.

Then Rachel whispered, "Get the salt"

...

And that's when I ran.

The long story short I locked myself in my room for an hour as they banged on the door bearing a salt shaker (and a seasoning salt shaker. Hooray for improv!) and rebuking the demon inside me. I also had my forehead smacked and "holy city tap water" thrown on me when I did deign to leave my room. Oh, and "exorcism" was Googled several times.

...I think I'd rather have the demon, thank you very much.

But at least it made for an interesting night. I love my roommates XD

Five Stages

I look younger than I am.

Like quite a bit younger. As in, I am 21-years-old, and I apparently look like I may have just hit 14. Or younger sometimes.

I suppose wearing make up or changing up my hair would help. But I never really got into that sort of stuff.

It used to bother me a lot. But now I'm ok with it or at least can deal with it. But there were several stages leading up to this point. There are the 5 stages of grief; modified a bit I can show how I got to the point I am at today.

Or maybe I'm just bored. Your call.

1.) Denial

"I don't look that young. I am X-years old. No way I look as young as people say."

2.) Anger

"Why the hell can't people see that I'm older! I am NOT a child, come on!!!"

3.) Bargaining

"Ok, if I wear make-up, can I at least look my age. I don't need to look older like others want, just my age."

4.) Depression

"I'm going to be carded the rest of my life, aren't I. Guys will never date me because of potential pedophile remarks. What a rotten deal."

5.) Acceptance

"...Oh fuck it. Give me the kids meal. The food is cheaper anyway."

What We Learn from College: Part 3

A collection of quotes from my 3rd year of college (2010-2011)

...well actually, they are quotes from the second semester of my 3rd year. Apparently I didn't keep track of them from first semester.

A word of warning, some language that may be unsuitable for children is here. Be warned and if you don't like it, don't read. Simple, no?

I'd also like to say that I added a links widget at the side of the site (under Check it Out!) If you have a site that you'd like to promote here, just ask me and I'll probably add it there.

Enjoy!

Evolutionary Biology

"The sex ratio of MSUM is 60:40 while at NDSU it's flipped around. Isn't that interesting? ...It has nothing to do with sex."

"Green sunfish are the sluts of the sunfish world."

"So you've got the two different alleles. Actually, they're garbanzo beans."

"Yes, the lizard does have sex...every now and again...when she's feeling frisky..."

--Talking about a species of asexual lizard.

"What did you learn in middle school about the evolution of sex? Nothing? Ok, what about in high school? ...What is the word on the street about the evolution of sex then?"

"Be careful if you are naked around barnacles."

"Don't take vitamin shots from your boyfriend."

"This is how to become a great scientist: sho oxpeckers off of oxen."

"The male mosquitofish is slower because they have a large boner. The gonopodium is really bone, though. Not making that up."

"He just hangs out and does sexy newt stuff until the females show up."

"It's fish monogamy! Aww..."

Vertebrate Zoology

"Sex in the air would be awesome."

"Some marsupial males have a double penis, which is just fantastic."

"Today we'll be starting with the excretory system, because that's always fun."

Quantitative Biology

"Have a super awesome spring break. If you're going to Florida, bring me back something. I like tequila."

Organic Chemistry

"Don't you be the one!"

--On numerous occasions while talking about mistakes that have been made by past students.